September 11

Just the date sends a chill up my spine. I remember the feelings I had that day. I was at work when the attacks began. A co-worker was on the phone with her husband. Retired, he was at home watching the TV and saw the first plane hit. She told me and we assumed there was some really bad pilot in the air- had no idea it was a commercial airline. We alerted the others in the office and turned the radio on. We all moved to a conference room with a tv and were then told to close our office and go home as we were a government entity.

I can remember the drive home- talk about an extreme sense of nesting. I wanted everyone home where I could account for them. My husband was soon sent home as well as my sons. We had men working at our house (we were recovering from a fire!). They were soon in our family room watching tv. A knock at the door from the dry cleaner broke my focus. When we had the fire, I did not know that the clean up crew had taken all the clothes in the attic to the cleaners. We are talking hundreds of garments of mine (in sizes I will NEVER wear again). Here they were. All clean and on hangers! I did not know what to do so I had him put them on sofas, chairs, the floor, tables, everywhere! My husband ran to Walmart for clothing racks. The store was deserted. (I later found homes for all the clothing.)

I remember going to church that night as we all gathered in prayer. The America I knew and loved had suddenly changed. We went to a camping show that weekend and I remember feeling so dead inside. Nothing was exciting. I felt guilty for even thinking about something as frivolous as camping. I wanted to do something but did not know what. I had lived in NJ, 20 minutes from NYC, for many years. My friends there told me about people they knew who were lost in the towers or who were impacted directly. It was just all surreal.

Then the anger hit. My anger toward those terrorists, those animals, is still there. I simply cannot understand a culture that does not value life. I am surprised by how many Americans forget September 11, 2001. Sure, they know what happened that day and yet they have not changed. Tomorrow, September 12, I will gather in my town with those who do not forget what America used to be like. I pray that as a nation we never face another day like September 11. Yet I fear we will. Defense is on the back burner and we are forgetting who our enemies are.

Today I will remember those families who are missing a loved one who was lost that day. I will remember a country who pulled together and focused on the common good. A country that stood proud and saluted our flag with honor. I pray that we might find that passion for America again.